Going, going, gone!

When a few of us were moping about how unsuccessful we have been in finding our respective soul mates, a friend of mine remarked

“My epitaph would read – Died a virgin, Hmph!”

This conversation happened some five years ago. However, discussions with other friends since have led to a few more. Here are some classic ones –

“I’m getting engaged today. Yaaayy!”
No1’s fiancé told me this one – “You promised you’d kill her before the engagement”.
“22 x 15 VLOOKUPs killed me!”

Mine would read one of the following
“Happily unmarried”.
“Married, yeah, whatever… if you say so dear”

I really really want mine to read - “Drowned in chocolate/cheese fondue”.